Losing Weight and Friends: A Hard Truth Most Don’t Talk About
So many things change as we grow and evolve as people. Some of the things we are ready for and some other things we don’t see coming. When you start out on a health and fitness journey of any kind you will probably lose some relationships along the way. My entire circle is very different than it was a few years ago. Let’s talk about it.
People change. In a million different ways, for a million different reasons. Some grow and some regress. Others never change in any way at all. As I’ve talked about, weight loss is about changing habits and behaviors. The thing about our social circle is that most of us associate with people with similar habits and behaviors to our own. When I decided to make the change for my health and really take a lifestyle change seriously I really wasn’t expecting my social circle to change the way it did.
It took time and I don’t think I even noticed it at first but one by one I started losing friends. I realize now that it’s not anyone's fault. In most cases neither party meant for it to happen. It’s just that my lifestyle change is what changed my entire life including my career path. With each new step into that new life I was also taking a step away from people I was friends with. You see it’s not uncommon with any major change or self improvement to lose some people along the way. You no longer have the same common interests or bonds. You no longer want to do the same things. This in absolutely no way means that you think less of those people or that they think less of you. It simply means they were only meant to be a part of your life for a season. You want to spend your time focusing on your new lifestyle and that is absolutely ok!
There’s another reason you may experience the loss of some relationships and it’s a little harder to swallow. Some people may experience jealousy. Maybe your new lifestyle, career, business whatever is something they already feel self conscious about. Maybe they haven’t been consistent and they see you thriving and begin to harbor resentment, make negative comments, distance themselves from you. In case you need to hear this…your success has absolutely nothing to do with their behavior. This is something within themselves that they are fighting. Perhaps they feel like seeing you succeed highlights the things they haven’t been able to do. Maybe they feel like they have tried everything and they can’t do the things they dream of or that they won’t be able to achieve their own goals. If this is the reason for the loss of a relationship I want you to know that you didn’t actually lose anything at all. Grieve this relationship if you need to but move on. You are allowed to be proud of yourself even if it triggers other people. Other people's triggers are not your business, not your problem and certainly not yours to deal with. We all have triggers for many reasons and they are our own responsibility to deal with.
Through each stage of your journey you will find yourself surrounded by exactly the people you need and the handful of people that are there for each stage…. They are the real ones. They are the ones to put most of your focus and energy into.
Continue to grow. Continue to shine. Continue to improve. Always put yourself around the people you admire and want to be like. Put yourself around the people who will support your growth and cheer you on. Appreciate the ones you lose for the role they played in your growth. And always remember that if you are the best in the room you are in the wrong room.